Sans Your Companionship, Helpless!

Sans Your Companionship, Helpless!


            Far U gone

            In the land unknown

            Leaving Me blue

            And left me, helpless!


Marooned! Who would guess? U'll desert me so untimely.


Goodbye! U didn't let me say. Unsaid, u did. Tears, rolling, and it does never halt ….


I don't know how this wound heals. I'm carrying this pain inside, and it has been a part of my life. Now I feel, it is hard to live sans this pain since it is your given souvenir. It pains not.


Thus, I admit – Dardka haadsay gujarjana daaba baanjatahey, jab kohi dardka dost banjatahey, dardka aavas hotanahi (Passing through extreme pain becomes a treatment in itself, when you go with that pain, it does have no feel).


As u deserted, I've found, words are shallow. Words are deficient to articulate the pain I'm undergoing. And so, I comply with the adage, "there is difference in between words and life."


Still, it's so titillating to recollect the umpteen moments that we shared. On my own part, I chose your company not only because you were pretty amicable, but because you loved to talk about all that was and has been the realm of my passion. I loved your company because we shared the similar state of affairs everywhere, elsewhere. I loved because you had the very intellectual passion as that of mine. I loved your company so that I could nourish that hunger of mine. And so, we loved, we did choose and were pretty content to have met in this life. But, so short!


As u left me, I'm aloof. Believe me, I have nobody to share my intellectual passion with that crescendo. I feel suffocated since this appetite of mine has then remained unsatiated. Tell me, who can fill this emptiness. I'm desperately helpless! Helpless is what I feel when I notice your kinsmen in the agony of your absence forever. And helpless is what when their tears roll-down through their cheeks, everytime somebody reminds your struggle to exist. And helpless I'm when I hark back on the different times spent with you that reside somewhere inside me. How can I let slip those moments? How can I fail to think of the plans that we fabricated to materialize together? How can I forget those unending glimpses that has captured my memory? How can I not remember those flashes that keep on haunting my eyes? Even the iota of reminiscence is enough to turn me helpless!


Faced with the misfortune, I've started living sans you. How can a petty human like me keep on grieving long? I must live and I've started living with some new hopes. I must live and I've started living in utter solitude and with heavy dejection.


And when I see tears glistened in the eyes of old mother, my heart splits. I cannot stop crying. Tell me, what a hope can I offer her to live with? Help me, how can I pacify the old father's mourning? Their wrinkles, their tears and their glances will ever be questioning me. Concealing my countenance, I do cry in the solitude for I've no words. These days, I love solitude because I feel you when I'm lonely. There in my solitude, I mumble: "Yo dui dinko bichodpani katti namitho k birsiyejasto, harayejasto, napugejasto …" (How unsweet is these two days' separation, it feels like something forgotten, lost, deprived. My own translation)


And to go:

            I cherish the beautiful memories u left, not a day'll go by when I don't remember U, you are forever in my hearts and prayers!



Dinesh K. Shrestha

Dhapakhel-08, Lalitpur.

Author - Dinesh Shrestha | Posted on Apr 14 2008 Monday | Views : 2658
English Literature

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